How you can make a difference to your own happiness
When we start out in life we have so many hopes and aspirations. I used to have ambition once, yes ambition but with age a certain type of acceptance begins to set in. Don't get me wrong I haven't given up hope altogether, it's just that you become a bit more realistic and begin to realise that if you haven't "made it" already, it begins to look like your aren't going to.But what is making it? This question is not asked enough. "Making it" can mean many things however and it can range from becoming a celebrity with millions to being happy with eking out a living in the lonely Highlands of Scotland or in my case making a living window cleaning.
For some they will never be happy with their lot in life but it's something that we will all have to come to terms with, sooner or later. To be philosophical about it all, what it boils down to is happiness or rather, the pursuit of happiness. You can look at happiness in different ways. It can depend heavily on your expectations. As much as we all seem to baulk at what our parents and grandparents used to say; "be content with what you have". As much as I hate to say this, it becomes more of a truism the older you get. You are not going to be able to "take it with you".
You begin to realise that relationships are becoming more and more important to you rather than "things". It's okay to have things but it dawns on you that they are transient and hollow towards relationships. I used to have this thing about cars. I love cars among other things but I was always striving to get a better one, a bigger one, a faster one. I must have had over thirty cars in my time and it took me many years to get over it. I know now that the car was a substitute for a lack of self esteem in myself. If I had an impressive car then people would respect me. Sounds pretty lame now doesn't it?
I even had a phobia about number plates. I would look at virtually every number plate of every car that passed. Was it newer than mine? Most often it was of course because I was never rich and of all those cars I owned, only three were brand new. But again it's a matter of perspective.
I began to make a serious effort to appreciate what I had and how lucky I was in reality. When I saw how many people could never have what I had and how many were actually starving to death, then I was living like a King in comparison. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't as though this was any kind of revelation or anything. I had been aware of all the horrendous things going on on the earth for ages, like we all are. So why did it not have an impact earlier on in life?
Well life's like that. Sometimes it takes a long time and many years of experience and maturity to see what life is really about. We all start out with good intentions, so what's it all about? Happiness is not necessarily about fun. It may be connected but it's far more profound than that. Happiness is something that is much deeper and usually more elusive but once you get what it is, then there is much more chance that you are going to be a lot more content with life. Happiness is a deep seated form of contentment and just being able to accept life but remember this, "their is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving" but we are not talking gifts here like birthday presents. We are talking about being kind and loving and generous at every opportunity, even with your enemies.
This at first will be one of the hardest things you ever did and indeed it might take years to be able to put it into practise. There is one person that I regularly come into contact with that is always terse with me. Sometimes I want to tell him to get stuffed but I used this as an opportunity to practise what I preach. The result? Well he's still the same years later but the effect on me is strange. I feel so much better than if I'd confronted him with the same attitude. I feel good about myself.
